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October 2, 2004 - 9:22 pm - 11 Things I Hate About Church
1. The preacher does not need to waste time looping and looping the same point for an hour to two hours. This is precious time wasted when the same point can be said concisely, in about 5 minutes to 10 minutes, and it would stick in people's minds better than a tedious monologue. 

2. Most of the value in those hour-long sermons are lost on me between the HORRID SINGING OF HYMNS BY TONE DEAF CHOIRS. Composed and sung to be catchy and annoying. So catchy and annoying that you can't think clearly for several hours -- possibly off and on for the rest of the week. 

3. I learn more from an intellectual discussion of Christianity and theological hypotheses/theories than I have ever learned in any church. 

4. Tithing is great and all, but I disagree with the notion that it must be done through church. For some of us, the needs are obvious. We can cut out the middle man. Needless to say, I don't appreciate the passing of the plate that a lot of churches practice. 

5. I don't like churches that jump back and forth through the Bible. It would be nice if they go from start to finish more often, without skipping things. 

6. I don't like how in every church I've been to, there are cliques or a class system going on. It's typically more subtle with the adults, but very obvious with the youth groups. 

7. I hate revivals. Sorry. Something about dancing around moaning and groaning about Jesus and such just doesn't click with me. It feels positively... cult.

8. I don't like people suspecting I'm unsaved because I don't actively socialize. It's not that I don't like to, it's that I come from a philosophy that believes it's best to construct your social life carefully and politely. Not by going up to people and asking, "Are you saved?" A better approach would be to ask in casual conversation what someone's beliefs are, and what led them to their present philosophical/theological state of mind. I'm sorry, but "Are you saved?" isn't a good way to initiate a conversation -- and it'll probably ruin any chances of a good one after that. 

9. Most of them have no idea what deism means. 

10. They think agnosticism and atheism are interchangeable. 

11. Fire and brimstone threats don't convert anyone but the shallow. It is the shallow who preach it and the shallow who accept it. And one thing we don't need is another brimstone and fire-breathing Christian out to convert the world when they have no sense of tact or sense at all. You can change hearts through threats, but if the mind doesn't follow with it, you're digging a hole for yourself.